(Obviously certain inappropriate things have been edited)
1.) Italians don’t wear deoderant.
2.) They smell.
3.) Red, Green, Yellow…it’s all the same when you’re driving. Italians are apparently colorblind.
4.) If you think you know where you are, you’re wrong.
5.) Falling asleep on the bus is a bad idea.
6.) Trains SUCK.
7.) Meeting people on trains is a big NO NO!
8.) Observation is key… always ask for a second opinion when concerning the male species.
9.) You are always “hunting” for men…according to Felippo.
10.) Italian men wear merses and fanny packs or the fanny pack-merse.
11.) PDA is advertised as much as the next president.
12.) Italians have a lot of bromance and they don’t care to hide it.
13.) Everyone in Italy is friggen in love.
14.) Chinese people don’t speak English…they speak Italian.
15.) They don’t believe in air conditioning.
16.) Men masturbate to haggard women on later night trains.
17.) Even if you are a.) early b.) at the right platform and c.) at the correct location IT DOES NOT guarantee that you are on the right train.
18.) Everyone is a coffee addicy by way of the cappucino…and the cappucinos= heaven in a cup.
19.) They don’t say God Bless you.
21.) Naturale does not necessarily mean there is no gas.
22.) Edward Cullen…enough said.
23.) Ambulances sound like the Nazis are coming for Anne Frank.
24.) White shirts and colored bras are IN.
25.) Drinking mexican beers in an Irish pub is normal in Italy.
26.) Italian bartenders are sexy… yes yes laugh all you want.
27.) If something is going wrong remember the phrase “At least we’re in Italy”.
28.) Dogs are miniscule and they don’t require leashes.
29.) Dryers don’t exist.
30.) They are behind by at least 10 yrs in such appliances as a microwave.
31.) If you wear flip flops they know you are an American.
32.) When buying a hair dryer make sure it’s not German,
33.) Italians use musical instruments as accessories in window shops.
34.) “He helps make butter for blind monks” only few will appreciate this
36.) “Window shopping” means cruising for men.
37.) Loaves of bread are for show at your dinner table.
38.) Siesta time always falls when we are hungry and every place is closed.
40.) That’s sexy.
42.) You know you are in Italy when your gum is more than your wine bottle.
43.) There are no plates necessary for bread at meals.
44.) It’s normal to see a pimp and his prostitutes on you street corner at night.
45.) Cold spoons cure many things.
46.) Meeting guys and forgetting their names in the morning is completely acceptable.
47.) You know you’re in Torino when you go out 5 nights in a row and the best one turns out to be a Monday.
48.) Ice doesn’t exist.
49.) Transportation goes right in Paris.
50.) The French really do hate Americans.
51.) Your clothing is not really clean it is simply run through water.
52.) Your towel is therefore expected to be crunchy.
53.) After walking around in Italy your feet naturally transform into solid bricks.